November 29, 2009


Young! Fresh! Unqualified!  Yes, that's who we get these days as our leaders! The latest in the series of I cannot believe they did that is new German Secretary for Family Affairs, Kristina Köhler. To be perfectly honest, I couldn't care less as to whether she has children herself, is happily married or religiously watches The Super Nanny every Wednesday.

What I do care about is that Köhler (and many more like her, and before the feminists start yelling, this goes for men and women alike) has no experience in the real world. You know, that's where people have jobs, lose jobs, try for new jobs. Nope. Miss Köhler is one of them folks who have done nothing but politics. She went into politics at the tender age of, and this is legen... wait for it... DARY, 13! By joining the Conservative Youth! Yes, boys and girls, she is that student in school that we all know, if not from personal experience then from at least the movie Election.

Got into the party cadre of the Christian Democrats at 17! Made her abitur (for those not from Germany, that's more than a high school diploma, think of it as graduating from community college) in 1997... and went immediately into an aide position for a member of parliament. No vacation jobs for this girl!

But hey, at the same time she studied sociology, and here's the thing. I know people like that personally. I saw them at my university. They didn't as much study as they build up political networks. Studying? Preparing for a job? In sociology? Where, please, where does that give you a job outside politics? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? But hey, if you absolutely, positively need to study, you know what you should do? What the easiest job in the whole world is? Yes! Become a member of parliament yourself! Which she did in 2002. Easy hours, enough time to date and study... and get the money for a really nice condo!

That's right, boys and girls. You even have time to be the chairwoman of the inquiry into the fuck-ups of the German Secret Service Agency BND (not that you were uniquely qualified for that, either, but hey, sometimes all you need is a pretty face. And again, before the feminists start yelling... let's take a look at the Count, okay, and by that I mean that delightfully gelled hair monster called Guttenberg)

And if you're really lucky, and your party elder is probably the biggest fuck-up in Post WW2 history who not only was involved in one of the biggest party money scandals of all time...

(yes, I am looking at you, Roland Koch. Say, Roland, still looking for that "old Jewish money" in Luxemberg that was suddenly "owned" by the Christian Democrats? And how about that firing of one of the few journalists – against the rule of the German constitution, by the by – that you and your henchmen instigated this week?)

...and you hail from the right German state (in this case, Hessen), you get to become a secretary. And by that I mean, the good kind of secretary, the one where you get to be the ruler of people and laws.

Qualifications? Life experience? Who needs that, right?