December 31, 2009

CATHOLIC CHURCH STILL HAS BIG ISSUES WITH GAYS... NO, REALLY

VATICAN CITY — Homosexuals and transsexuals "will never enter the kingdom of heaven", a leading Roman Catholic cardinal said on Wednesday. Cardinal Javier Lozano Barragan said that while the Church regarded homosexuality as an "insult to God", this did not justify discrimination against gay and transsexual people. "Transsexuals and homosexuals will never enter the kingdom of heaven and it is not me who says this, but Saint Paul," the cardinal said, in comments reported by the Ansa news agency.
This is the same Catholic Church that excommunicated everyone involved in the abortion of a fetus conceived through the rape of a 9-year old child raped by her stepfather in Brazil last March. Well, everyone who was involved in the abortion, but of course not the rapist!

Then again, the Catholic Church has always had somewhat of a... weak spot for pedophiles. But what I really like is the fact that Barragan invokes St. Paul as his source. Let me make this clear. St. Paul – who is the only guy never having met Jesus (except as a nebulous spirit, woooooOOOoooooOOOooo, yeah, dude, I know what that is called. It's called insanity) – wrote that homsexuality is an offense against God. Raping a child? Eh. Not so much.

The other thing that I love is the defense of the religiously retarded bigots, which always comes into play whenever they hate somebody: It's not me who hates the niggers! God does! It's not me who hates the Jews! God does! It's not me who hates the faggots! God... well, you get the point. For a great and good God, he sure spends a lot of time hatin'. All I'm saying. Incidentally, "St. Paul" here who is quoted specifically makes the point that man on man sex is indecent. He never makes the claim that woman on woman sex is indecent (that is implied by the interpretation of ... let's call them later scholars). Now, why is there never a mention of woman on woman sex?

Because if you are a guy and straight, you like woman on woman sex. Yes, that's right. We like it! Because deep inside, there is this voice that whispers to us, man if I could get in between those two, that will make a hell of an awesome sandwich! They set it up, we play Tiger Woods and ... there you go, a hole in one!