February 21, 2010


There's a part of me that hopes, wishes and perhaps even prays that the following email to Latino Review is and must be an elaborate joke...
To whom this may concern:

This movie was a completewaste and I feel that it offends ALL Twilight Fans around the world, that including myself. For one, it was a COMPLETE remaking of the Wolf Pack from the Twilight Saga: New Moon. It gives the werewolves a bad name and makes them look like some deformed mutation of a rabid dog. I actually started to like werewolves after seeing Jacob Black and all his awesomeness on the big screen at the movies. That was. I saw your crappy remake of what you call to be a "were wolf". I don't see how you live with yourself for making it the way you did. If I made this movie, I would be ashamed to even admit that I owned it. How can a werewolf be killed with a silver bullet? Better yet, have you saw the transformation of the man that is to be the wolf? He sits in some chair and his entire body turns in to some mutated freak. If you would watch the transformation of Jacob Black, (Taylor Lautner) he doesn't come close to looking as fake, cheap and or mutated as the wolf man. You tell me, who looks to be the better werewolf. Your stupid Wolf Movie didn't even make the top Movie for the charts
It must be. Please, dear god, let it be an elaborate joke, for if it is not, then it proves once again the Palinisation of the United States of America. See, class, there are two kinds of arrogance, or at least how something that is said can be perceived to be arrogant.

(1) is an arrogance born out of knowledge. Them Palin folks, they call that elitism, and what they mean by that is somebody who has done the fucking research and knows what he's talking about. Well, them boys we sure ain't gonna have a beer with, right? Them folks eat them fancy salads, and we all know that ain't the path to heaven. And in the worst case scenario, them boys are... pssst, they're niggers, and for fuck's sake, that means they ain't American and are right now blackin' it up in the White House.

(2) is an arrogance born out of ignorance, and it is the worst kind, for not only does it breed and spread, it also makes people open their mouths and spit and spout things into this world that has everybody listening to it drop a few IQ points, just by being in close proximity.

And now this. A remake of the 1941 Wolf-Man obviously had to have been lifted off from the only thing this retard  (yes, I said it, the r-word, boohoooo, and no, it isn't an offense against people with Down syndrome, for as everybody with just a little knowledge would know, Down syndrome may be a genetic abnormality, but the ones affected by it are not stupid, not in the least) Kayla Patterson has ever read or watched, that bowdlerised emotional porn show called Twilight.

A few posts back I stated that I forgive a reader if a reader doesn't know all the references and allusions I put into my books. And I do.

But only as long as they don't go out and start to vomit stupidity all over the rest of the world. In the time that it took Miss Patterson to write her Waah! Waah! email, she could have simply gone to Wikipedia and looked up werewolf. She could have simply typed in werewolf into the Google search window.

But no, that would have been a sign of intellectual curiosity.

And we fucking can't have that. Not in this time.

She would have seen that there was a Universal Monsters movie classic called The Wolf-Man from 1941 that this remake is based upon.

But we fucking can't have that. Not in this time.

She would have been able to understand that the werewolf mythology is a very old one, so old in fact that Stephen King called it one of the tarot cards of horror, together with the ghost and the vampire (still not so sure if the zombie is a tarot card, too, but if it wasn't, it is going to be soon enough, with all those zombie movies out there).

But we fucking can't have that. Not in this time.

She would have even found a book and a movie called Blood & Chocolate, where most of the motifs she so adores about werewolves had been already done for the big screen (most people didn't watch, though).

But we fucking can't have that. Not in this time.

Kayla Patterson isn't just stupid and intellectually lazy (both of which would be her full right), no, like a lot of other people who need to write their core beliefs on the palm of their hands (remember, Sarah, tax cuts, don't forget it, it is the only core belief your party has left, so, hell, I think you should be able to hold at least that one thought in that vacuum you call your head)...

... she needs to tell other people how woefully wrong they are!

Because she possesses the truth, and the truth is that Stepheney Meyer is so god-like that she not only created vampires, no, she created the werewolf as well!

Like I said. It's everybody's right to be stupid.

But at least be fucking stupid in silence.