March 11, 2010


There is a part of me that find is extremely hillary-ious that the US State Department is even allowed to put out Human Rights Reports on other countries anymore. And criticising countries like Germany in such a manner that I'm not sure whether I should laugh about it or not... because they actually think that they are being serious.

If you read the the report on my home country that was released today, you'll find tthat apparently they US State Deparment has a somewhat warped view of what constitutes human rights violations.

Then again, that should not really come as a surprise to anybody who watched official US politics of the past decade, where the hell is the country I fell in love with? Where did it go? Did you flush it all down the toilet in a Southern Carolina trailer park and wiped your asses with the Confederate flag?

A human rights violation is primarily defined as one instigated by the state itself against an individual and/or a group, and the denial of proper prosecution by the state in the event of such a violation against an individual and/or group committed by non-state associated individuals.

The latter can also be called, for a lack of a better term, "crime" or "hate crime".

Now, I'm usually not one to defend my country. It has more than its fair share of faults, corruption, power abuse by politicians and police officers.

What it doesn't have?

Torture that even the new Obama regime considers to have been, "eh, what can you do? It was after 9/11... we were all a bit experimental."

What it doesn't have?

Secret military tribunals in lieu of an open court case, because apparently Republicans in your country (and Democrats) don't believe in the rule of law, or rather, they only believe in the rule of law if applied to old, white men. No, wait, they don't even believe in the rule of law then, since then we would have a shitload of CEOs now in jail.

But hey, giving the retarded Islamists a public trial, where they have to face not only some of the best prosecutors New York has to offer, no, they would also have to have the cameras (and, oh, please spare me the "but then we will give them a platform to hate America" speeches. What these people did was a crime, pure and simple, and it has to be treated like a crime. prosecute. Judge. Put their asses in jail for a long time... the right way)

You know which country did that? Just weeks ago? Now, now... which country put the rule of law above everything else? Oh yes, that is right, that was us! We put three would-be terrorists on trial, we had the evidence, we put their asses in jail for 12 years.

And you know what? There were no planes dropping on the court building!

No, really!

There weren't! We would have told you, if there had been! Honestly! We wouldn't lie about something like that (you know, like you constantly lie about stuff)

Gosh, I guess you can't do the same... give everybody due process.

And you wonder why I find it hillary-ious that the United States feels compelled to walk around the planet and give reports on human rights violations for... other countries?

Hello? Clean up your own damn house, then we can talk.

Your Congress just recently pushed through the extension of the Patriot Act, despite the fact that the Democrats were totally against it (as long as they weren't in power, and thus is the understanding of human rights by any politician anywhere in the world... as long as it gets you votes to stand up for human rights, you are all for it, but, mmm mmm mmmm, all that power is so fingerlicking good, why the fuck let it go to waste, when you can use it for yourself?). Your country still has FISA, with full backing by the Chocolate Messiah, because what the hell... we need to be certain, we need to know everything.

Did you know which country's supreme court just struck down the European Union-mandated FISA equivalent that was forced down everybody's throat in the wake of the London and the Madrid attacks?

Why, that would again be Germany!

In their opinions on the case, the condemned the reach of that measure that was the subject of a class-action suit signed by over 35,000 people. They in fact stated that the surveillance of all communication can only be done if it is under...

... now say it all together...

... under the rule of law. To simply go, "hell, we are simply going to monitor everybody and see what happens" (as our, let us say, less democratically inclined politicians would have liked it) is unconstituional, since it seriously infringes on the right to privacy!

Wow! Imagine that! A supreme court that actually reads and understands the constitution!

How is that going on your side of the pond?

Oh, and while we are on the subject of human rights... how is that thing going with Don't Ask, Don't Tell...

... see, I am merely wondering, since you put so much emphasis on the expression of the individual rights, you know, just wondering...

... how is that hateful and institutionalised denial of rights for homosexual couples in the United States going? Is it going well? No, wait, those pesky advocate judges (and Iowa, let us not forget Iowa) are trying their hardest to undermine your morals... by giving homosexuals the same fucking basic human and civil rights that your constitution should have given them decades ago.

And don't even get me started on the whole 5/8ths of a man's worth your founding fathers put into their constitution for black men, please note that I say black men and not black women, women, eh, who likes them anyway, right? We all know that one week out of every month they can't be trusted anyway, and like evil beasts can only be placated by chocolate and cuddles.

...and yes, I know all about the 13th amendement. Remember, I studied that shit.

You know where homosexuals have the same rights as straight married couples?

Why, that would be Germany!

And yes, that was a long and horrible struggle here as well, but gosh, we are least a decade ahead of you on that one.

The important things, Hillary, my girl, your State Department doesn't even list. And what would that be?

That even now women make 23 percent less than men in a comparable job in my country. Where the hell is the outrage about that? That women by and large get shut out of the jobs market, that they get used and abused by corporations in this country and any other... and while that doesn't qualify as a human rights abuse under the first definition I have given at the topy of this post, it certainly qualifies as a human rights violation under the second definition...

... because neither here in my country nor in the United States (nor anywhere, really) does such blatantly unconstitutional behaviour get penalised by the state. Yes, I want corporations to get dragged in front of a judge every time they pay almost a quarter less for a comparable job to the person with boobs than it pays for the person with a penis.

Now, is that in your report?


I wonder why. Could it be that your corporate masters (and ours) have something to gain, have money to make by treating women as a secondary work-force? 23 percent! That's 5 women for every 4 men! That's a fucking corporate bargain right there! And if we put them on half-day jobs, hell, even better! Less or no benefits! Whoopee!

Yeah... no wonder that is not considered a human rights violation!

What is, however, in your report... and this is just great, it shows how woefully retarded the people putting that report together were... is the simultaneous criticism of the German state cracking down on Neo-Fascist propaganda as "infringing the right of free speech", while a few paragraphs later bemoaning acts of anti-semitism and racial hatred that were perpetrated by hate criminals.

Uh, excuse me, Hillary?

You do know that it is those Neo-Fascists and Neo-Nazis that are committing those acts of anti-semitism? You do know that racial hatred propaganda is what fuels those acts, right? And so, by cracking down on those groups that call for, more often than not, the murder of Jews, of Gays and of... well anybody who is not stupid, white and bigotted... the German state is actually doing what it is supposed to?

Aren't you the ones who always call for "defending Democracy"?

Oh, and did you know that even those Neo-Fascists don't disappear on an island somewhere, where we put hoods over their heads and beat the living snot out of them, whether they are innocent or guilt, whether they were sold out by somebody or whether they were actually doing something?

No! We put them on trial! We give them attorneys! We do it in public! Yes, the ones that my country knows... from our history... are of the same mindset as the ones who brutally slaughtered all those groups 80 years ago.

We learned our lesson.

When will you learn yours?

And until you have learned that lesson, Hillary... just shut up and let the grown-ups do the talking about what is a human rights violation and what isn't.