June 17, 2010

JOURNALISM WATCH: THANKS FOR FINALLY NOTICING, JON STEWART!

It took you long enough. Respect mah authoritah, indeed!

But with the majority of the mainstream still conviently looking the other way...

(what? There's gold in Afghanistan? And lithium? And unobtainium? We can't leave now! The New York Times broke that story! It must be important! Not that it was a well-known fact for anybody who had been searching and researching off the grid news sources in the past two years... but hell, who gives a fuck? It's only news when reporters or news networks, for that matter, have it dumped, pre-digested and with a clear agenda, in their laps that it then becomes mainstream news)

.. it has fallen to people like Glen Greenwald to time and again point out that the same fucking standard has to apply to everybody, including that cowboy from Toy Story and the Chocolate Messiah!

And god, do the Chocolate Messiah apologists hate that!

Just as the Dubya apologist hated it.

And to those who rant and rave, almost like that little YouTube bitch a while ago, to "leave Britney...uh, Obama alone!", shut up, I will do you a favour and give you your arguments right here, right now.

(1) If Obama doesn't get elected again in 2012, the USA will fall in the hands of a multinational corporation-loving, bank-bail-outing, human rights violating, wiretapping, whistle-blower persecuting and war mongering asshole.

Oh, wait...  that is Obama. Sorry.

(2) Obama is so clever, and we are so dumb, he plays Star-Trek-fucking-3D-chess, and who are we to argue with Mr. Spock? He has a giant plan that is so far into the future, you can only understand it if you are a future historian. And yes, that was a fucking Isaac Asimov reference, and yes, I know that one shouldn't mix references from Star Trek and Asimov...

Oh, wait... didn't that cowboy from Toy Story tell us the exact fucking same thing? That we can only judge him in 100 years? Oh, yes, that is right! He did!

(3) Obama is a black man. They hold him hostage in the Oval.

Isn't it interesting that the Oval was the Death Star when Dubya was in that office, and now that Obama is in there, it is essentially Gitmo? Or Baghram? Or any of the other places where you can still vanish to? If the president wishes it? Say, when are we going to close Gitmo? Oh, wait... now that Obama is in the Oval, he can't do it. Because putting terrorists on trial, oh my god, what if they get an aquittal? Then they can roam the streets of America! Like Nazi submarine commandos in World War 2!

(4) Everybody who criticises the Chocolate Messiah is a racist.

Yeah, like I am. Read some other posts on this blog. And while there is definitely racism coming from the Tea party retards (yes, I said it, oh, I'm sorry, Mother Sarah, but it's not your child that is retarded, it's you who are, you and the others who are this delusional), while their rallying cry of "I want my country back" (from the damn niggers) is one that would fly at every KKK meeting ever held... holding the Chocolate Messiah to the standards he himself put down in front of us is perfectly legitimate.

(5) Those standards were set up by Obama during in the election. Once he got into the Oval office, he..

... he what? He got the super-secret memos? That told him that, hell, everything he sold us was just a load of bullshit? That we need to wiretap? That we need to forego human rights? That we need to forego democracy? In order to keep us safe. We need to be safe. All of us. Because Al Quaida is... is what? Where? RIGHT BEHIND YOU! We are afraid, are supposed to be afraid of maybe 20,000 or 30,000 people world-wide? Because they had a few lucky breaks? Gosh. Yes, I am shaking in my boots when it comes to Muslim extremists. Guess what? You can never be completely safe. It's bullshit. That's what this is. Bullshit, wrapped and packaged the way of derivatives (say, how is that one going? Oh, right, they all want to take that off the table again, that regulation).

Jon Stewart was kind in stating that the Chocolate Messiah was like Frodo.

I don't think so.

I think he was Saruman. Hungry for power and unwilling to stand up for what is right. Better to pick the winning side, eh? The side with money. The side with power.

And damn the rest of us.