July 17, 2010

BP'S NEW GUF OIL CONDOM HOLDS, MAYBE.. WE DON'T KNOW. WE HOPE...


Since Thursday, so they say, no oil has been leaking into the Gulf. So, first of all, yay for that! So, why so serious? Well, the new oil condom installed by BP to wrap snuggely and tightly around the burst and gushing pipe (and isn't that a filthy image, eh?) doesn't seem to have the pressure inside that it should have.

Which of course can merely mean that they had miscalculated the anticipated pressure. Hey, I remember NASA once slammed a Mars probe into the deep ground of the red planet, because some idiot had calculated shit in metres and then programmed the whole course in yards. Oooops. Well, we are all merely human.

Unless the entire ecological and economic system of a whole region depends on your calculations. Then you are not allowed to be human. Sorry. Then you need to be better than human. Then you need to double, triple, quadruple check your calculations.

I hope so. I hope they did. I hope this will be a success. Because now comes the hard part. Now you need to not only siphon off the gushing oil from inside condom, no, now you need to push mud downstream at a pressure higher than that of the oil and gas coming up.

Wait. Haven't we been here before?

Yes, it's Operation Top Hat 2.0

Shoot shit down, let it fill up the well beneath the surface, the shoot concrete down and beg god that it doesn't do the same shit that started this disaster in the first place. In case you don't remember, it was Haliburton's concrete operation that went awry and the Deepwater Horizon go kablooey, not quite as big as Calvin's Horrendous Giant Space Kablooey, but kablooey nonetheless... because the concrete – so the information – didn't harden enough and the pressure went straight through it.

And that is why the lower pressure is so worrying. For it might also mean that there is still a leak, could even be a microscopic one, one that definitely won't show up on cameras. But with enough pressure that it just might go kablooey a second time.

Don't get me wrong. For all the scum that makes up the companies named BP, Haliburton and Transoceanic (and I am not talking about the workers. Let us not forget, let us never forget that enough workers warned of the impending doom before some of them went down with the Deepwater Horizon, something that is too often forgotten... you do know who exactly I am talking about, right?)... I hope this works.

Because if it doesn't, they will have the release the valves again, and the oil will gush further into the ocean, now with added strength and the filfth formula 3.0.

I hope. We all hope. And hope – by its very etymology – is something that makes you realise there is nothing you can do, that your life, your fate, your future is no longer in your own hands.

Somebody else is pulling the strings.

And we hope.

We hope that this time they get it right.

Before we drag their asses into a courtroom to stand trial.