July 8, 2010


Both Disney and Rysher Entertainment lost big in the courts yesterday, as the actual creators and copyright holders of such shows as Who Wants To Be A Millionaire and Nash bridges (do not fuck with Sonny Crockett! He has a Ferrari! And a crocodile! And nobody could ever move so hot in slow motion, and if that makes me gay, so be it) were awarded tons of millions of dollars in compensation and back pay by a jury of their peers.
Immediately, the Walt Disney Company issued this statement: “We believe this verdict is fundamentally wrong and will aggressively seek to have it reversed.”
 ... and...
Rysher's attorney, Bart Williams of Munger, Tolles & Olson, reacted: “Rysher is extremely disappointed in today’s verdict and will aggressively pursue all legal recourse. While we respect the jury's right to their judgment, there are several matters of law that will form the basis of Rysher's appeal. We are ready to undergo the appeals process and are confident that in the end, today's outcome will be reversed.” 
I know! I know! I know what their legal argument is, because note how Mr. Williams in the case brought forth by Don Johnson argues: "several matters of the law". Let me translate that from legalese. We know that the case against us has been rightfully lost, but we have a whole department of scumbaggers, who will find a dot, a comma or a word that we have not used yet.

Their basis of appeal? Simple. They just need to claim it was not a jury of their peers! Judge, hello.... these were people sitting there. People! I mean, come on, really? People? Who were to dumb to get their personal assistant out of jury duty? Even Lindsay Lohan would have done better than that! And we are supposed to be judged by them? Joes and Janes? Are you joking? The law very clearly states that it needs to be a jury of our peers.

And since this is the United Corporations of America, we will not accept any judgement by anybody that has not been brought forth by Disney, Warner Bros, Paramount, Goldman & Sachs, AIG and other high value members of society sitting on the jury.

People... really.

As it is now well known, the Supreme Court has finally acknowledged that corporations are people, too. And if we combine that with the fundamental right of being judged by your peers, then this is what we will bring forth in a case before the Supreme Court. We cannot be judged by an archaic legal system that still clings to the notion that "everybody is equal under the law", when we are clearly not! Anything else would be communism!