July 27, 2010

POWER WATCH: BECAUSE AMERICANS SWALLOW BULLSHIT SO MUCH QUICKER WHEN IT COMES WITH A SOFT, SOUTHERN VOICE, AIN'T THAT RIGHT, Y'ALL?

But it's his American nationality and a childhood spent in Hattiesburg, Mississippi, 80 miles north of the Gulf Coast, that made him most palatable to a board desperate to soothe strained relations with a furious U.S. administration and appoint someone the American public can relate to.

"First of all he has all the qualifications necessary. But even more importantly, he speaks with an American accent," said Christian Tegllund Blaabjerg, chief equity strategist at Saxo Bank. Blaabjerg said he was shocked by how much Hayward's clipped vowels and "Queen's English" seem to have hurt him in his efforts to deal with the aftermath of the spill.


"What has struck me the most is that speaking with a British accent has had a huge impact on his message," he said. "It's not so much what he said but how he said it. I don't actually think he did anything wrong communications-wise, but the Americans got angry every time he opened his mouth." 
This is probably one of the most cynical PR moves I have seen in the past few months, and I've seen plenty.  See, if BP only had had a better way to sell the bullshit and criminal activities, the US citizens would have been okay with it. I mean, hell, look at Clinton and George W: The ability to talk the language of the "little people" is what is necessary now, isn't it?

I'm waiting for something akin to "I did not... have...sexual relations with that oil well", in corporate speak.

Because now you have it. Meet Robert Dudley, BP's new CEO. A real, true-blooded American! See? See? BP is not British! It's "to infinity and beyond"! Does that change what BP is doing? No! But they are counting on y'all to be stupid enough to now believe what they're saying, now that the lies no longer come in "Queen's English".