Yes, I was, for exactly the reason that I am feeling the way I am feeling right now. Hollowed out. And tired. Then why did I spent roughly four hours this weekend on Journalism Watch?
It's not because I want to. I can tell you that. Each time I see somebody lying, distorting the truth and getting away with it, a little part of me wants to scream. And if I were to give in to it, I would not be sleeping at all. Wait, not that I do, not really, but it would be even worse than it is right now.
I saw the first problem with Maher's show early Friday afternoon my time when I read his new rules segment on the Huffington Post. And I immediately saw the glaring flaw with the Meg Whitman reference. It wasn't that I was so smart, it was something that anybody with half a brain could have and should have seen, especially since the eBay founder's unwillingness to endorse Whitman was all over the news as of late.
I thought to myself, this is not your problem. It's just a little slip-up. Everybody slips up every now and then. And did I mention that it's not your problem? That's right. It's not even your country. They'll fix it anyhow before the show, since Chris Kelly is a staff writer on Real Time, and he is writing for the Huffington Post, somebody there will make that connection.
Besides, I was on break. And that meant not to get involved in anything. It's not that I am getting paid to look over things from all over the world, and I am doing this all alone, so I have to pick and choose what is worth to spend an hour or two (at the least) researching and writing about.
And I went to bed. And the next morning I watched Real Time.
And with each minute passing my stomach knotted up more. There was no debate. There was no truth. There were no facts. Just those 10-word-statements. And Maher allowed Holmes and Breitbart to spout lies throughout the entire show.
And so I sighed and went to write it all up. And I didn't want to. But I searched the web, and found barely anything that dealt with it. So... why am I doing these things?
Because somebody has to. And yes, I am perfectly aware of how arrogant that sounds. Who am I? Looking others over the shoulder? Why should anybody care about what I have to say? There is no reason, and I am very much aware of that, too.
And like I said, there is a big part in me that doesn't want to.
And let them all burn.
I know I can't change the world.
But then again, I think, if I can only reach one or two out there, if it makes them think, if it makes them look harder at what is being told to them, not the world, just one or two, then it just may be worth the sickness and emptiness and the ashen taste on my tongue every time I see a lie being born and taking flight.
Somebody needs to take aim at it, and shoot it down.
Somebody. Why me?
Why not me?
And with that... I shall return to my break.