November 3, 2010

WHO NEEDS WRITERS, ANYWAY?

According to today's article in the Los Angeles Times, Steven Spielberg doesn't. Well, that would explain Indiana Jones & The Flying Monkey Shia as well as pretty much every movie he has either directed or produced in this decade (and whoever comes to me to defend The Minority Report, The Terminal, Leo's On The Run and/or Tom Cruises With Aliens will get slapped, very hard.)

In the latest development that had Fox first move Terra Nova (their new hot science fiction series that is essentially Earth 2, but now with added dinosaurs, whoooooo!) to May 2011 with a super-special-├╝ber-awesome pilot to then have the show come back in the fall in order to give the show more time, since it is, like, you know, like, really time intensive to do good F/X.

Sounds logical, and isn't necessarily something new, right? After all, animated shows like the Simpsons need to have all that extra time as well, since they have to be animated first (like F/X, also a time consuming process)

So, if you write the episodes today, if they start shooting this month, you have a full year to come up with the F/X. And even if it still Spielberg masturbating to the tune of his last big TV failure, Earth 2, one would assume that they would at least get the dinosaurs right, then.

Ah. If they were writing right now.

See, in that LA Times article, it is revealed that they have just fired all of the writers that don't have an overall contract.
20th Century Fox Television last week canned most of the writing staff, including former "X-Files" scribe Chris Brancato. Brannon Braga, late of "Star Trek: Enterprise," remains in charge as showrunner. [...] "These are expensive writers," one insider said.
So, for a show that will start in the fall (usually that means last week of September or sometime during October), the bulk of the shows will be written – like with most normal shows – during the summer. That means either they already have scripts written and ready to go, or – more likely – the show will be run on the normal TV network model.

Oh, have I said that the show already costs 20 million (allegedly) for the pilot alone, with not a single bit or byte having been shot? See, writers are apparently expensive, but they are nothing against the producing fees and bullshit that Spielberg and the others get for putting their name on a product that sounds simply dreadful, and after having read the pilot script that is simply awful, I can tell you that one would need some writers to...

... oh, wait, yeah. Sorry. No, we don't need writers. They are too expensive.

We are Spielberg.

We have a name.

Wrong, Stevie. You once had a name. Know when that was?

In the 1980s.