November 4, 2010

ZACH SNYDER: IDIOTS ON PARADE (ALSO CALLED: SUCKERPUNCH)


Here's why I will never, ever watch another Zach Synder movie again. Why? Snyder doesn't make movies. He makes video games. And games that you cannot even play. Watch this trailer closely. No, wait. Don't watch it. Close your eyes. Listen. Are you hearing it?

You will need five items to set yourself free.

Enter, Level 1. SkirtGirl vs. SamuraiBot!

Enter, Level 2: SkirtGirl vs. Steampunk Germany!

Enter, level 3 ... and so on.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is the future of movies.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.