January 14, 2011

REASON FOR RYAN REYNOLD'S DIVORCE REVEALED! SCARLETT JOHANSSEN HAS AFFAIR WITH A BOTTLE, SEEN TO GIVE IT A HAND JOB!


First of all, I believe that celebrities should not be allowed to date, to engage or marry. Why? Because they take time and attention away from what is genuinely important, and if I turn on the telly one more time to hear a story about Three-Nannied-Gwyneth Paltrow sending out a newsletter telling others about "how to get through the day as a working mom" (here's a hint. Be rich. If you are not, tough shit, eh? My sister is a single working mum, and it is tough, and it makes you hope that sometime late in the evening, your back holds up well enough so that you can sleep a few hours), I swear I will scream. And throw things at the telly screen.

But this? This here is funny. Because it has nothing to do with celebrities, not really, it has everything to do with how some people think you have to sell stuff. Sex sells, indeed, because (a) is anybody but me wondering why Scarlett Johannsen ist stopping in the middle of the ladder (where she apparently is stepping on to fill those glass pyramids... with one bottle) and looks like she is about to suck the cork out of the bottlehead? Man, that is a big...bottle. Ryan Reynolds must have felt quite inadequate.


And (b) how about this picture of Miss Johannsen given a lustful, smiling handjob to the same bottle? Or maybe it is a different bottle of champagne, which would make her a booze hussy. No, I am not angry about this. I find it amusing, because it is so pathetic.

Also, I find it just as amusing that Moet is still seen as a good champagne. A luxury item. Sure. Yeah. Of course it is. Because it resembles the luxury of Pre-Revolutionary France. Say, how did that all end up, Marie Antoinette?